The myth of sentimentality

Posted in DIY, Stories
the myth of sentimentality picture

I’m not a sentimental man.

As a grown man, I’ve only sobbed twice, both times because of sentimentality. (And I mean, bawled, snot dripping from my nose, hiccuping with gasping breaths, falling to the ground and pounding the floor crying.)

But I realized there’s no such thing as sentimentality.

You with me?

Lemme tell you why.

But first, some background. Read more »

When you play with fire…

Posted in Stories
when you play with fire...

Amber and I have been feeling quite smug, of late.

I’m not sure what it was. I think it was probably the 70% rule. We’ve been trying really hard to ensure that 70% or more of our interactions with our kids are positive.

But something has changed in the boys. They fight less. They express affection more. They’re quicker to apologize to each other and to us.

It’s been quite blissful, actually.

On Sunday, after returning from church, Amber and I decided to take a much-needed nap. In the past, this has been extremely hard to do. Just when we fall asleep, the fighting begins. But this time, we were confident our newly reformed boys would leave us be.

And they did. Read more »

Chasing the bus

Posted in Stories
chasing the bus

Frantic–that’s how mornings are with the boys. Every morning feels like a rush to the last chopper out of ‘Nam. The second oldest lays in bed sulking about how tired he is. The oldest yells at his younger brother to hurry, conveniently forgetting he’s still in his pajamas. More than a little shouting occurs at times from hurried parents (though the shouting has diminished drastically since I instigated the 70% rule).

The baby girl is crying because the youngest boy woke her up by running through the house pretending to be superman.

One parent is smeared in peanut butter because a flailing child bumped into her leg. The other parent is jumping between the open door, looking for the bus, and the boys’ bedrooms, looking for shoes. Read more »

The 70% Rule

Posted in Stories
The 70% rule
The 70% Rule.

Speaking of failures, amidst my many shortcomings, I’ve had this nagging something plaguing me of late. It’s okay to fail at writing, it’s okay to fail at my profession, and it’s okay to fail at losing weight and exercise. But I cannot accept failure at being a dad.

But I’ve felt like a failure lately. It seems that 90+% of my interactions with my kids are contentious. And all the while, I keep thinking, I’m one of those dads. You know what I’m talking about, right? The sort of dad that’s always butting heads with the kids, the sort of dad that the kids are conditioned to resent long before maturity sets in (and with it, the humble realization that dad may have been right after all).

But, I did little about it. I suppose I was so preoccupied with my other endeavors to do anything about it. (Bad idea). Read more »

A message to dads: Keeping your cool isn’t enough

Posted in Stories
A dad who loves and forgives

Dear Men,

Let’s be dads. Let’s be the sort of dads who can forgive, speak with gentle voices to our children, and have our children feel loved.

(Thanks to Fife Photography for this lovely image).

Today’s story comes from a dad who, by his own admission, almost screwed this one up. (The dad has chosen to remain anonymous to protect the identity of his kids). So, without further ado, welcome an anonymous father! Read more »